Starting Fresh Every Day
I haven’t written much for Hieropraxis lately, but for a good reason: I’ve been writing a lot for my book. Yes, a real book! It’s scheduled to come out in Spring 2010 from Moody Publishing, and since the deadline for my manuscript is September 1, “the book” has been my number-one writing priority. So take heart, my Hieropraxis readers! (all 5 of you…) I haven’t given up on the site; I just have a bigger project that is taking all my writerly attention.
This has been an opportunity for serious reflection and, I think, growth for me. It is one thing to write essays for a blog, and another to write for a real project, a real book. I can’t evade the tough questions now: I have to ask if I am doing my very best work, and if not why not, and if I am, whether I can accept that it might not be as good as I’d like it to be. I have to consider that people might actually read this book – and so I have a responsibility to speak Christ’s truth – and also that perhaps no one apart from my personal friends will read it – and so I have to face the fact that ultimately, this is a work for God’s glory, and for His purposes, whether I understand them or not.
One thing that I am grateful for, no matter how the book comes out, is the way that God has used this project to help me grow closer to Him.
I got barely any work done over the Christmas break, though I should have done a lot. That meant that when the semester ended in May, I knew I had to hit the ground running. But I felt that there was something in the way, something hindering me from getting started.
I thought and prayed about it, and realized that I needed to really give this project to God, to dedicate the time and effort of writing to Him and to Him alone.
I began by making a formal confession. Having confessed at the start of Lent, normally I wouldn’t again make confession again until Advent, but earlier that week, in prayer, I had really felt strongly that I needed to make a “clean start” as I approached this serious project. Confession, or the Sacrament of Reconciliation as we call it in the Anglican church, is a profound and healing experience, and as I came out of church that sunny May morning, I felt like things were coming into focus.
I realized that I had a morning routine of reading the newspaper, but all I usually did was scan the headlines and then read the comics. Was this really the best use of my time… when I was always telling myself “I really ought to find more time for reading the Bible”? I cancelled my newspaper subscription. At first, I wasn’t quite sure how to handle that little bit of extra time, but for the last few weeks, I’ve been getting into a routine of saying morning prayer from the Divine Office before breakfast. What that means is that before I even really start the day, I’ve spent time reading Holy Scripture prayerfully, thanking and praising God through the liturgy of the Office, making intercessory prayer, and taking time to offer Him my own hopes, fears, needs, and thoughts for the day.
And so, with the day starting in prayer, everything just seems to go better… funny that, eh?
I hope that this book turns out well, but one thing I can say for sure already is that this work that God has given me is bearing fruit in my own life. Thanks be to God!
Related posts:
Dr Holly Ordway came to Christ through reason, in the pursuit of truth. "In your hearts honor Christ as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect" (1 Peter 15).
She writes about her journey from atheism to orthodox Christian faith in her book "Not God's Type: A Rational Academic Finds a Radical Faith" (Moody Publishers).
